To be honest folks, my birthday is so awkward. I could care less about turning another year old, it is the attention that is awkward. For being a very VERY outgoing person, you would think that I would just LOVE the spotlight. It is the complete opposite. I dread the attention of my birthday. As you have seen or read on my blog, I love hosting and throwing surprise or birthday parties for people, even my dog Rudy. But as for me, nope. I hate all the attention. I am very blessed with a wonderful family and even great friends, but other then being surrounded by family on my birthday, I hate everything else about it. Even the presents are awkward. And this year, I feel selfish when my family wanted a list or asked what I wanted. Even the cake, it was like 'oh gosh...' I hope this will get better with time, or at least when I have kids, it might be more fun, but as for now....nope. I just had to share as my birthday approaches. I cannot even sleep, it is that bad. I will tell you it is on Monday, November 7th. I just wish it could pass, is that sad? It snuck up on me so quickly. I loved it as a child and I love seeing happiness on someone else's birthday, but for me, I just do not feel it. Is that awful? Am I an awful person for feeling or expressing that? Sean is such a trooper and tries so hard to make it the best, and he is successful, but the day is just the worst part of it all. I maybe feel like I am letting people down or because I just do not know where to go to dinner or who to invite, its weird. I would rather just be with my family like a regular day. Having a home cooked meal and playing games. That would be as close to a perfect birthday as it can get. I just had to be honest with you guys. Not sure if I was going to post this or not. But thanks for listening.
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